Before the comments arrive: Yo-chi earns real credit. Urban List's fro-yo guide notes the base is made with real milk and no powder, and the company is 100% Australian-owned. Good. But the queue outside every location is not there for the yogurt. It is there for the toppings bar and the TikTok, and once you strip those away you are holding a perfectly fine cup of tangy soft serve that the internet has decided is a personality. That is the definition of mid: not bad, just nowhere near the fuss. Here is where the same money goes further.

1 · Gelato Messina

If the tang of frozen yogurt is what you actually like, Messina makes its own yoghurt in a 24-hour process, bakes its own brownies and roasts its own hazelnuts. Broadsheet's gelato guide has the orange-and-green cups all over the city for a reason. One scoop here has more craft in it than an entire self-serve wall.

2 · Anita Gelato, Chippendale

If the toppings ritual is the whole point for you, Anita runs over 150 flavours (pavlova and salted bagel among them) and loads cups the way Yo-chi wishes its toppings bar looked. Broadsheet's chef roundup singles out the Belgian chocolate with Loacker hazelnut wafers.

3 · YOMG, Melbourne

And if self-serve is genuinely your love language, Urban List points at YOMG: swirl your choice of low-fat flavours then load up on toppings, same ritual, less queue. Melbourne friends, this one is yours.

Disagree? Good. The comments are open and the app carries the live verdicts from people who actually went.